HANZKY

Tonight is the last home game for the basketball..i really want to watch it..but the thing is..i have to drag my lazy ass all the way to arena in this 30 degrees weather..will i be able to do that?..hehe, i don't know..well i guess it's okay as long as i go there with a bunch of people. Donna and Martha want to go there too but they have class till 7.30, means that we probably can get there like past 8 or something...and is it worth it to watch just a half hour game after that long walks?..hmm..have to think about it though...well i might just go, everybody is there cheering and yelling supporting the salukis and i can't just sitting here in front of my computer without knowing what's going on over there...........so..we'll see!


I have a lot to do this week, i have this presentation for my B2B class, the case is pretty long and we have to do a little bit research and write the paper too. I also have oral presentation for my business communication class but this shouldn't be a big deal since it's only gonna be 1 minute long. What else i have to do for this week? oh ya i have to go to edwardsville to attend the career fair there, so i'm sleeping over at nduti's wednesday night..=). Pheww..there's just so many things, not too mention marketing policy case, the project for next week (we need to start collecting the information this week) and so on and so forth. Oh by the way, i also have an interview tomorrow at 6...wish me luck okay?. Who knows next week i'll be on my desk in their office next week..=).


I had a good weekend, nduti was here. As usual we ate at Kahala, but this time we also ate at dennys, we discussed about ben's problem, went to pinch penny and the strip, we even went to hotspot eventhough we didn't get in, damn the outlook and the environment was not attempting enough for us to go inside..it's like in the middle of cornfields with bunch of hillbillies...!. We also stopped by at mas heru's, driving around..checked out the design boutique office, we went to the mall, we went to the evening with ICE-T *i love that* and so on and so forth. Ohh..i almost forget this, we also went to the shelter to check out the kittens they have over there, they have 2 adorable kittens that i just wanna take them home..... Hmm, what else was happened last weekend ya? ohh..you know what, i've been carless since yesterday..nduti took the car key with him and both of us didn't realize it till it's too late and too far for him to go back and give me the key..*lol*. So..that's why i have to walk if i want to watch the game tonight...!. But nduti has sent the key this morning though, so it should be here by tomorrow. Otherwise i won't be able to make it to the interview...


Ohh it's so hot in here and i'm wearing my sweater...i don't feel like changing my clothes since i'm leaving in a little while...so i guess i'll talk to you later...! and by the way, aan emailed me and she said that dina dini's brother is moving to st louis in two weeks..hmm, at first i kind of get excited but then i remembered that i think he already have this bad image of me built in his mind. I don't know if he still remember all about that though..the story that dina dini told him when we were still in Perth..it still make me upset somehow.

I'm tired..i really do, i woke up at a 7 o'clock this morning as i had class at 8. That is the earliest class i have so far since i've been here. When i was in Perth, i had so many early classes, i think i had one that started 7.30 and i lived quite far away from campus, i actually had to take 2 busses to go there, and the bus stop was not right in front of the campus either, it took me like 10 minutes to walk from the bus stop to the campus. Sure it was a long journey but looking back..i don't think i complained much about it, in fact i was kinda enjoying the morning view and morning ritual that i had to go through..such as, you know..went to the small deli at the station in the city, bought a small carton of chocolate milk, and also chicken and cheese corn dog for breakfast *no wonder i was so ballooned last time*. My favorite part of the morning ritual was the trip itself, especially from the station in the city to the campus, my favorite seat on the bus was on the justify side by the window...and as far away from the driver so he couldn't caught me eaiting my breakfast *hehe*.


On the way to the campus, we always passed the swan river and no matter how often i've been driving pass the river, it still gives me the best feeling inside... something called peace. I miss Perth a lot you know, i know it wasn't the best city in the world but it still my favorite place and one day..i promised to go there with nduti and show him every bit of the place.


i dreamt about ibnu exactly a week ago, and it was in two consecutive days. It wasn't a nice dream, really...because i dreamt that he was so sick and just so thin and so weak, i felt really bad when i woke up..i felt like something must be happening and i was planning to call home but...i don't know why i just didn't, i guess i forgot or something. Two days later, my mom called..i sensed something wrong right away...she rarely calls me so when she calls..it must be something somewhat important. So i picked it up..and it's true..ibnu had been sick for like 5 days, he got a fever, his temperature was pretty high, he caught a cold and it was just bad. Oh my god..i was so scared, i just couldn't see or hear a little kid get sicks, it must be hard for them to fight with the desease. But thank god he's okay now..and that's just what i need to hear...*i love him so bad*.. So..whatelse..can't think about anything else right now. i'm just gonna lie low on my bed...

Yohoo…I have finally finished the International Student Council webpage this afternoon, at the very last moment. I realize that it’s far away from perfect, but that’s my goal..just to get it done, not to get it done with perfection here and there, i’m not responsible directly for that anyway..*sigh*. It’s almost 4 o’clock today, now i’m just waiting for dendre to call me to tell me that he is leaving the office, and then i would pick him up in about 15 minutes later. Okay so since it’s still new year season, then it’s not too late for me to make my new year resolution. *hey everybody have one, so i want one to..=)*

1. Hmm, firstly..my resolution is to graduate from school this may, i’m sure this can be accomplished.., i mean logically i can finish everything by may this year, but who knows if something bad happen down the road right? *wish not wish not wish not*

2. I want my whole family to come here for my graduation day, i want my mom, hana, ibnu and dad. And i want my lovely grandma too. I want her to meet hal dillah, i think it’s been like 8 years already since they have been apart, and grandma coming here is the only way they could meet. Stay healthy ya emah, i’ll talk to mom and dad to bring you along with them..i love you..

3. My third plan for this year is to get an internship in st.louis for the summer, i hope this can be accomplished.

4. My fourth plan for this year…is to start my MBA at maryville by august, hopefully i can get started with it on time. And while i’m in the program, i also have to get a job to help me with my expenses. Professional Job is preferable, but sales associate at the mall is also appreciated.

5. What’s number five?. Hmm..okay, this will happen if number 2 is happening, i want my parents and nduti to get along. Well it’s not that they don’t get along with them, with the distance and everything, it’s hard to get them gather together and have a meaningful interaction, we only went home twice so far… Dendre and my mom are getting along okay though..i know they are never engaged in deep and long conversation together. so this summer would be the perfect time

6. trying to use big words..so i’ll sound important..hahaha..j/k

7. Wow, it’s number 7 already…for this..i want maintain a better relationship with nduti. I love the way everything works now..but there are still rooms for improvement…

8. Number eight is…i want to improve my life. What i mean here is like i want to exercise to live a healthy lifestyle..the last time i went exercising was like..last summer..see i haven’t been living in a healthy life..therefore i need to get my ass to the rec center and try to sweat. Besides exercising..i also want to get closer to GOD, pray as often as i could and experience my spiritual moment. I want to have a moment where i realize that..hmm, i don’t know..kinda hard to explain. I was just about to type “the moment where i realize that he’s exist”. But i guess that will describe me that i don’t believe that he is there. I was born muslim, so i believe there is GOD up there. But i just wanna have my moment you know…i have been hearing some stories that some people have their moment of realizing that he is there, they have their own experience, not like daily routine of experience..a different one. I am sure it feels so special and they should be grateful for that. Well i guess i need to do my duty as a muslim first before i can ask him to show me that he is there..watching over me..right?

Oh i can go on and on and on about my new year resolution. But those are what i can think of right now. I am very thankful of what God have given me all my life, i am very grateful of everything. I am very excited that i live in another year of my life and i embrace 2002 with open arms..=).

Hmmm...i didn't realize that this semester will be another torture, i actually was feeling that this semester will be a breeze for me....but after i thoroughly read the syllabus...hmm..wrong thought girl!!. I really have to give 100% of my mind on this semester and fully understanding the materials, get in-depth knowledge about marketing concept, and do the project with my maximized efforts. I am sure that will help me a lot in the real world...well at least that what my professor said. Actually, i like the projects that the professors has given us, they seem so challenging and i can't wait to be engaged in the process. But the thing that kinda bothering me today is..my groups!!. Well, i don't know them well enough to judge...but i just don't feel comfortable with them since i didn't know them before and they seemed a little laid back. I was hoping i could be in the group with carson and loukas, just like in marketing 390...we worked well together. I hope my new group (3 of them) will be doing just fine and we have no trouble working with each other.


I went to faner computer lab after class, i promised ben to meet him at 3, but he didn't show up until quarter past 3 so i called him, and he was waiting for me at the library..hehe..gimana siih?? Vero was there too at the last minute...and then ben drove us home. Remember the black dude who works at the registeration office?? i think i talked about him yesterday. I was on my way to my class from the student center when suddenly i heard someone yelled.."yo..wait up", there was no one around so i figured he was shouting at me. So i turned around..and it was him, oh my god..what does he want??. He started making converstion, ask about my name, my major, bla bla bla and he asked me what i'm gonna do this weekend. I said i'm going to st.louis for the weekend, and he was like.."oh, okay..so we can't meet this weekend then"..excuse me?. So you are assuming that i can and would want to meet you given that i don't have anything this weekend?...y'right

I found my old textbook from the health class to took a long time ago in john a logan. The book consists of a lot of useful things, it helps you in getting to know more about yourself, --from Love to Self-Responsibility to discovering your senses, your feeling, the way you think, what you think of sex, how well you communicate with others, how good you are in terms of expressing your feeling and so on and so forth-- that's why i didn't sell it back from the first place, i thought it would be worthwhile keeping it.


Anyway, so i was trying to answer the list of the questions in the book...i was feeling it..ready to explore the true me..=). But..hmm..considering it's kinda late right now..and time for me to hit the bed...maybe i'll save this for tomorrow. How about that?. Or should i do a few of those first and continue the rest tomorrow? Hmm, let's see...i have to wake up at 7.30 tomorrow, and now is half hour to midnite, that means if i sleep now..i'm gonna have 7 1/2 hours to sleep and that's just about enough, i usually required myself to get 8 hours sleep everyday *I am very adamant about my sleeping cycle* . So, can't do it now...have to sleep. nite nite...

I just got back like half an hour ago and i feel so exhausted..it's not like i had a lot to do..maybe i feel tired because i just haven't consumed the food i need for today. I had my usual frozen food for lunch this afternoon, but turned out that it didn't taste as good as it used to..maybe it was expired or something..so i just ate half of it and then i went to 710 to buy some of my textbooks...*i couldn't afford to buy all at once*. I went to Marilu's place right after that to give her the finance book and the calculator she wants to buy from me...*i need the money* . Since it was my first time to come by her place, and since they just moved in..so i stayed there..looked around and chatted for a while, paula was there too. Since i was planning to go to walmart first before i hit home so i asked them if they needed to buy something from walmart. And yes they did..they just moved in so they still have a lot of stuff to buy. The three of us then went to walmart together. There was a funny incident while we were there...since each of us had our particular stuff to buy, we went separate way...when marilu and i were done shopping and have checked out..we waited for Paula just near the optic. We waited there for quite a while but she still didn't showed up yet, so marilu went inside to look for her. Well..it's a big ass walmart we have here in carbondale so it's kinda hard to look for someone inside, pluait was crowded too. So Marilu came back to me with an empty hand. But then a second later, her cell phone was ringing. Turned out it was Paula calling from the payphone just a few steps from where we stood..haha..gimana sih..


At the time i got back from walmart, i still haven't eaten anything beside that bad-tasting fettucini..so i was hungry as hell. I just bought this other frozen fetuccini, but this one has grilled chicken on it..it looks good on the package. So i went to the kitchen and microwaved the thing....and when i tasted it..hmm..it taste okay, not as good as i expected though...and i definitely would not want to buy it again. Maybe today is just not my good day...i haven't got a decent meal for today and my stomach is growling. Oh..did i tell you that i went to the wrong classroom this afternoon?. yes it was rather embarassing at first but i was relieved that one one knew about that, except for the one girl whom i asked "is this b2b class?"..and she said "no, it's an antrophology class". Oh migawd..i got up and justify the classroom right away, huhh...no wonder i didn't notice any familiar faces in that class. So, i thought they changed the classroom or something so i went to rehn hall to check for it, turned out it wasn't at pullium hall, it was in quigly..i don't understand why in the world i wrote down pulliam in my notes where it was supposed to be quigly...oh well. So..yea it's true that today is not going my way.


Here goes another example..i didn't know that we need to sit at the exact spot we sat on monday..so everybody sat at the same place today as they were last monday and since i didn't come on monday, i could only choose the seat that was still available, and it wasn't very many of them since it's a crowded class. So the instructor just kinda pointed at one seat ..it 's in the 2nd row and in the middle of everybody. It's not my favorite spot at all, it's also very incovenient for me since i've never liked to be in the middle. Wherever i sit, be it in the car, in the classroom, in the airplane, in the theather or wherever..i always choose the one on the justify or right end..i don't like the idea of being in between. I don't know why...it's just me i guess..


After i got out of my communication class, i went to rehn hall to change the section...i wrote down section 001 on my registeration paper, and then as usual..that black guy processed my registeration through the computer and gave me the print version of my schedule and said that everything was taken care of. Taken care of my ass...because when i left rehn hall..i found out that he typed in 002 instead of 001, so that was not even the section i wanted to join..oh man i was so pissed at him, that new guy is soooo slooow like a snail, there was a long line at the registeration table and he still typed and moved in a slow motion...i just can't tolerate slow moving people. Not only he is slow, he can't even do his job. SO, because of his sluggishness, i had to go back in line and asked him to change that.


Poor me.. As if those i mentioned above is not enough to make my day miserable, because when i saw Donna on the way to the kitchen..i asked her about her business communication notes. She promised me that she will give all of her notes to me. And that will saves me a lot of trouble..since i am planning of skipping most of the classes...but..well oh well..maybe i just have to attend the class myself since she has thrown all of her notes away. Apparently she forgot that she promised to give them to me....


That's still not everything though. That's not all that irritates me today, there was something else. I was lying nicely on my bed...flipping through the channels looking for WSIU because i wanted to see the basketball game. But it seemed that i couldn't find the damn channel, isn't that strange?? I mean it's carbondale and it's an SIU town but how come ambassador hall doesn't have their one and only local channel??. argghh...


I guess that's all for now. I am munching on del monte golden sweet corn as i write this log entry...it's yummy though, the best thing i've had for today

I just got here this afternoon and when i stepped onto my room, all of a sudden i felt like i don't belong here. Well at least this is my last semester here..another 4 months and i'm outta here. My room was a messed, well it still messy now..but it's neater. I have cleaned almost everything in this room, i have reorganized my closet, my make-up corner...i threw away some make ups that i have never used or some which are already expired. I also reorganized my drawer and book shelves, put everything in the place where it belongs to and sorting which book or paper i still need and throw away the old and useless things that's been sitting there for months.


so my room is okay now although i haven't got a chance to vacuum the carpet, i guess i'll do that tomorrow. You know what, i was almost becoming the most miserable girl in the world today, but i got lucky so that probably makes me the most happiest one. It goes like this... i went to shnucks to deposit the check i got from first cellular, and right after that...i checked the balance at the ATM and i took some money out of that machine too. So when i got my money from that little machine...i walked away to my car..without feeling bad..without sensing that something might be wrong. I called Martha on the way to my car..asking her to join me to the dollar store..but she had a class to attend, so i went there all by my self. When i got there, i walked around..picked the things i needed to buy and went straight to the cashier. So..when i was taking the money from my wallet..i noticed that one credit card spot is empty...i was like...there is supposed to be a card in there..where is my atm card??..Oh my god, stupid me...i justify in it the machine..and it was still inside the machine with my pin number typed in already so people can just take some money from it. Oh there goes all of my money..... I was so panicked but trying hard to calm down..i was hoping that an honest person found my card and gave it back to the bank. damn... i'm short on money, and no one can take the only money i have for my survival..So i went back to the bank...and i talked to one of the teller about my situation and i haven't even finished explaining what happened and she suddenly.."oh..hold on a second". She looked in to a little drawer and guess what she took out of there..? Yes..it's my blue old national atm card..i was soo happy when i got it back...i have this big smile in my face as if i have just won a million dollar lottere or something...=)


710 was really crowded when i went there...well what do you expect..it's the second day of spring semester so everybody is buying their textbooks. I went there just to check the price, see if i can get it with the money i have right now..or else i will wait for the money from dad. oh speaking about money..and speaking about dad..it reminds me that i really really need to write the email i was talking about to my dad pretty soon.....i know tonite is impossible..so..maybe tomorrow.


Dendre and i watched the momento last night. Hmm, i have some comments regarding that movie but it's late now..and i am sleepy. So..tomorrow maybe? I am sleepy but i don't feel like sleeping..you know...not in this room, not in this tiny twin bed...and not without nduti by my side....huhu....=(

It's Friday Morning..i am so TGIF, i always loved weekend, and i still love it now even though everyday feels like weekends for me for these past 4 weeks, but the fact that dendre does not have to go to work is what makes it difference. And this weekend, we're going to Carbondale..hmm i can smell the House special chicken already, hehe..and we're going to see the salukis..they have been pretty good this season, i hope they can come out as a winner in the end..so at least there can be something that i can be proud of.

When in Famous Barr, i walked pass the watches section and i noticed that they still have the red nine west watch that i had been eyeing on. I called Nduti to ask for his opinion..whether i should buy the watch or not..of course he said that i don't need another watch, but i said i wanted it so bad...and then he said okay but not today, we can go back to famous barr tomorrow and he'll buy me the watch. Hehehe..=) The next day, i went back to the mall with him, when i tried the watch..it didn't look that good on my wrist, besides it needs to get another hole so it will fit perfectly and unfortunately they don't have the punch to make another hole. We almost went back with empty hands, but dendre noticed that i turned a bit sad by not buying the watch, hehe..so he gently took my hand and led me back to the counter..so were waiting patiently at the cashier to pay for the watch. But there was another customer who took forever. To kill the time, we were looking at another watches and i found this cute guess watch. It has the same red alligator texture genuine leather strap and a silver face. The face of this one is silver and kinda elongated square, whereas the one that i wanted to buy is more square and of course the Guess one is look fancier and it looks good on my wrist..and it just another ten bone...and dendre likes it a lot better. So..we decided to take the guess instead..=) and we (i obviously) went home with a happy face. I love you nduti...

So, the lesson that i can take from waiting so long at the cashier is...just be patient..because good things happen to those who wait patiently. Don't you agree?. Had i didn't wait patiently and just went to another cashier to pay for the watch..i wouldn't have the one that actually looks 100 times better than the one i intended to buy previously. Oh I am so happy...*smile*

I am finally able to drag my lazy hand to click the dreamweaver icon and start building the ISC website. Suprisingly, it didn't take me long to create the layout and everything..it's not finished yet, at least it's halfway done, and the most important thing is i know what layout to be used so i just need to mess with the contents tomorrow. I just need 2 or 3 hours the most to finish it. Apparently my sinusitis is not cured yet and i'm gasping for air right now..i feel like i couldn't breathe anymore...this is so scary. I took my medicine..and get my self a ricola candy *my fave*, hope those can make me feel better. Oh by the way, i did check the siue and maryville website, to get all of the information about their MBA programs. After a very careful thinking..i a, now 100% sure that i'll go for Maryville, John E. Simon Business School over edwardsville. Why?. Because i think it suits me better, i like their 8 weeks program and the fact that we only have class on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Mostly we even only have 2 days instead of 3..depends on the classes we're taking at the moment. Well, actually i don't like the fact that they only have night classes..*edwardsville is even worse by the way and ridicuolously it's on the weekends*. But hey maybe that's okay, once or twice a week wouldn't hurt me that bad, would it?

Hmm..don't know what to do?. I guess i'm bored..well no i am not, i just don't feel like doing things that i'm supposed to do. You know, school starts in a week and i still have a bunch of stuff that needs to be done. For example is building a simple webpage for storing my resume and personal info. Since i'll be graduating this may, it is very essential for me to get my resume ready...i need to start looking for a job or an internship soon...and of course to make me look professional and hi-tech, i need to have my resume online. It's not that i haven't started at all, i did...and it's halfway done but i'm way too lazy to click on the dreamweaver icon and work on it. Another stuff that i need to do is building ISC website..well it's actually not my job, it's dendre's but i understand that he's busy so i will take over the responsibility. Argus has asked me about the website since more than a month ago and i always promised him that it'll be done in a matter of few days. i haven't even started on it and i still have no idea about the layout. Other things that needs to be done in this winter holiday is looking for graduate school..well not exactly looking cause i have no other choice except siu edwardsville and marryville university, but at least i need to know and write down a lot of information that i need to know..what the requirements are, when are the deadlines, the tuition fee, the classes and everything.


See, i told you i have a lot of stuff to do, i still need to get the ASAF website done, it is actually done but it still need a finishing touch up here and there, and oh..how about klikmarketing website??..And also how about the letters for mom, dad and Hana..??. Man, up until now, i didn't realize how lazy i am, i mean i have absolutely nothing to do in the past 3 weeks and i'm all alone at home during the day, giving me a full internet/computer access to do all my things. But what have i done..??...yupe, exactly...nothing!!. Oh..i really really have to start working on my stuff tomorrow. I'll promise you, when i write an entry here tomorrow...i'll be like..oh i finally done with this and that..and bla bla bla....hehe

It's the second day of 2002...and i am still sick. I knew that i was gonna get sick when we were in Carbondale. I was surrounded by smokers for every minute i spent in there and that made me sick. In addition to that, the heater in my dorm was terrible, the hot air that comes out of that is just make you dry, totally uncomfortable. Anyway, we didn't do anything to celebrate new years. I was collapsed on the couch, i felt sick since i woke up but i didn't think it was gonna get any worse considering it's just a regular flu. So we went out looking for food, but the mc donalds was closed so we went to steak and shake, i was hoping i could get a beef and vegetable soup they have there to warm up my throats...but what happened was they were out of it. So i ordered another soup instead, it was chicken something. It tastes okay..except for the mexican rice that piles at the bottom of the bowl. The minute i finished my soup, i felt like a dizzyness hit my head right away, so we went to walgreens to get me some medicine.

Anyway, even though we didn't do anything special and despite all the miserable thing that happened to me...i'm glad with the fact that I was with my special person when the year changed *that made the moment special*, i'm also glad that we have spent another year together and i know that the next new year, the new year after that and another new year after that..i know that we will always spend it together...!.

I am very excited in approaching 2002, i know there will be wonderful things happened to me (at least if it's running according to my plan). I'll be an eligible bachelor in this may, i'll reach 23 *lagi lucu lucunya...* i hope my mom, hana, ibnu, emah and dad can fly here to attend my graduation. Also, i plan to get my MBA soon after that, get an internship, or a full time job..or whatever you know..i'm sure this year will be wonderful...amin. I actually still have a lot to talk about, but my mind is still not functioning well......maybe tomorrow?

..HaPpY NeW YeaR 2002 everybody.. Wishing you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of laughter, 8760 hours of good luck, 525600 minutes of joy, and 31536000 seconds of success . No time for sadness this year, not even for a single second. So be happy, be merry, and be thankful for everything