September 12, 2002

It’s the anniversary of 9/11 *Did you realize that yahoo goes gray??* I’ve been watching CNN since I woke up this morning, no commercial interrupting the programs, just like one year ago. They are mentioning the names of the victims right now, The US national anthem is playing in the background. It gives me this chill and got me all teary-eyed. Yupe, that’s what happen whenever I hear the Star Spangled Banner song even though I have heard it for like a thousand times, even if I hear it in the basketball hall before the NCAA games. I guess it’s the lyrics, or the tune, or the spectacular voice of the singer, or maybe just the ambience it creates whenever the anthem is playing. It makes me turn quiet somehow, my mind goes blank, my body stop doing whatever it is I’m doing and just listen to it carefully. It’s a beautiful song…

Say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,

What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,

o’er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?


Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.

O say, does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave

o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Anyway, 9/11 does change the world and people’s live, not only to those whose family/friends were one of the victims but pretty much to each and everyone of us, including me..although indirectly. We all know that US is heightening its security since 9/11, one of the steps that they are taking is to limit the numbers of people who could enter the country, meaning it’s not easy to get a visa to come here. And that’s what has happened lately. More people got rejected than ever and actually there are more who got rejected than accepted. Not only that, it is also take them forever to screen and process the visa applications, especially to male applicants. So it takes at least 4 weeks to get it done and even longer than 8 weeks for some cases. Kasian kan yang visa nya di tolak tolakin, the embassy officer turn their life all around. Some people got fired from their company because they have been away too long from work cause they are still waiting for the visa. Some have to be separated from their family cause they don’t get the access to come back here, some have to postpone their study cause by the time they got the visa it’s too late for them to come back since school starts already. Some have to say goodbye to the stuff they have in their apt, their car, their house, their TV, their couch, computer and basically every single thing that they left without having the chance to at least get their money back from selling away those stuff.

So this is what has been occupying my mind these past weeks. To go home or not to go home is the big question. If I decide to go home that means I’m going home with the risk of not being able to come back here, to finish my study, to continue the life that I have built little by little here and start all over again in the city where I was born. And If I decide to stay here that means I have to give up or at least postpone indefinitely the moment I’ve been dreaming ever since I was a little girl, cause I’m going home not merely for vacation purpose, I have other mission to complete…=). Oh well.. I’ve purchased the ticket so obviously I have made up my mind and positively sure about that. Not much I can do except PRAY. Ikutan doain yaah semuanyaa, hehe. OK, enough ranting..now I have to get my hands on my cracking-the-GMAT book.

I just want to send my deepest condolences to those who lost their lives or were affected by the loss of loved ones , may strength always be with you and may the US government learn from its mistakes.

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