Stay at home MOM

March 26, 2004

Yupe, that's my new title right doesn't sound like a fancy job, does it>> but it is definitely a hard job, it's endless, it's 24/7 and you basically do the same thing over and over again. It's not like a regular job which gives you a sense of accomplishment when you're done with your project and moving on to the next one. But the reward is p r i c e l e s s!!!

Akhirnya berhenti juga gue dari kerjaan, at first i wasn't sure of what to do..should i keep working or should i quit?..but then i went back to work although i still wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do but i went ahead and gave it a shot anyway. After about two weeks, i still didnt know the right answer, my heart told me to quit but my brain forced me to work. oh well..

But then when i was about to leave work two sundays ago..i had an argument with the bitchy manager yang emang super duper jutek banget. Biasa nya gue bodo amat kalo dia bitchy gitu, bener bener nggak perduli deh dia ngomong apa juga..karena asli nggak ngaruh di gue cause she's just a nobody to me. Yang penting i like my job, i like the environment, i like most people in there...her existence didn't bother me at all. Tapi itu dulu..waktu belum ada Jibran when i had nothing to lose kalo kerja, daripada bengong bengong aja di rumah juga ngapain kan?. Sekarang situasi nya udah beda, the opportunity cost of me going to work is high up there compare to my previous situation. Sekarang dengan gue kerja i'm giving up my precious times with my little baby dan harus ngerelain orang lain untuk take over what I consider my duties, feed him, change his diaper, rock him, sing to him, console him, hug him and play with him. Makanya gue sedih banget waktu ber argument sama manager gue itu. As always.. she under appreciates my work..i know i'm far from flawless but i've done my best and i take pride of my work and i believe i am very very productive at work. Asli kesel banget banget gue sama dia, gue ngerasa udah berkorban ninggalin anak gini kok kayanya nggak worth it banget, ngapain gue kerja kalo nggak di appreciate gini..mendingan juga di rumah..ada seseorang yang butuh gue and depends on me and me only for his source of food. Akhirnya pas keluar kantor langsung telfon dendre and i cried and cried...asli sedih banget...trus akhirnya dendre langsung nyuruh berenti aja.

You see, sebenernya gue betah banget kerja disitu…pertama ngerasa nyaman aja since I work in the house of God dan jadi ngerasa lebih deket aja with the big man up there, bokap gue pernah bilang kalo tinggal di Amerika itu kayanya jauh dari tuhan, nggak pernah denger adzan, masjid juga jarang, nggak ada orang yang ngingetin kita untuk sholat, ngaji dll, well I know it’s true for most of the people..but not in my case daddy, justru gue disini ngerasa lebih deket sama tuhan sejak gue kerja disitu, jadi lebih banyak belajar tentang agama gue sendiri. Dan gue juga ngerasa kerja disitu not merely for the money –although the money is good…I couldn’t complain on that part- but also work for the betterment of the community and helping the people around. Kerja disitu juga waktu nya long as I get my task done in a timely manner, that’s all that matters. Trus dengan kerja disitu gue jadi kenal banyak orang, not just random people but some important people who have made a difference to a large number of people. Banyak deh yang gue suka dari kerja disana and that’s why it was just hard for me to quit in the first place. Hmmm... I guess I should be thankful for what happened that Sunday then, cause had my manager acted like an angel that day, I would’ve been sitting on my office chair right now, and still debating whether going back to work is the right thing to do or not. My manager gave me the answer I had been looking for. Dan lucu nya.. Time Magazine and American Baby Magazine minggu lalu lagi ngebahas soal stay at home mom and why more and more young moms are deciding to stay at home. Now I believe with what Mr. Coelho said in his book…..when you want something..all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. It’s is so true.. I was supposed to work last Wednesday (last week), the manager was off on Wednesday (we share the same room). I did go to work, only to pick up all of my stuff, dropped the memo to the Chairman and some people including the manager, I bluntly wrote to her that the main reason I quit is because I’ve had enough of her constant moodiness and bitchiness, I dropped the key and just left. I know it is not a proper way to say good bye and I wasn’t proud of that either, I actually wanted to quit work gracefully and with dignity…but clearly I couldn’t think of anything else at that time. Yang jelas gue nggak mau untuk ketemu or even ngomong sama manager gue itu lagi…ngebayangin muka nya aja makes me wants to I don’t care about her anyway. Yang gue pikirin ini pengurus2 yayasannya, the Imam who I really really admire and some other people that matters cause I don’t wanna burn bridges and I don’t want to leave a bad impression to them…but I guess I already did huh…

So far I’m liking my new ‘job’…i’m treasuring the moment to be with him all day long and enjoying the fact that there’s no pressure of having to be here and there at certain times, I have a much slower paced schedule. Emang sih kemaren ini kerjaannya part time, but pair that with a baby and an MBA class…it does really drain your energy. By the way, my class has started three weeks ago. Now we have a clean house since I have more time to devote to my housework..and I finally able to cook some decent meals. Pokoknya hidupnya lebih sejahtera lah…and hey maybe I'll manage to get my flabby azz back in the gym soon enough..hehe. The only down turn about the $$$$??..huhu...i wish I was made of US dollar. Kalo untuk urusan household sih I’m not worry since dendre takes care of it anyway…:P...i helped a little here and there sometimes. Yang jadi nggak ada itu uang untuk keperluan gue sendiri…definitely no more Dr. Murad’s skincare then…can’t buy seven jeans..can’t afford any items at Sephora…huhuhu. I now have to cross a lot of things off of my wish list..Padahal kemaren itu baru rencana mau potong and highlight rambut..skarang mo nggak mau nge cet sendiri deh di rumah pake nice and easy…huhuhu…kasiaan deh lo han…hehehehe..

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