Just one of those days..

September 01, 2001

School is fine, it's pretty hectic this week and i've screwed two of my quizzes. My sales quiz was actually sooo easy BUT i didn't know that the quiz was gonna be over chapter 2, i thought it's gonna be over chapter 1 since that's the only chapter we've had covered to the day of the quiz..oh man. My finance quiz was..mmm, i know i could do it but i did some silly mistake, like there is a formula that we supposed to add the value, but what i did was multiply them both instead of adding them together...hee..hee...does that mean i know or i dont?..anyway, it's not like i don't make a big deal out of it, but hopefully it wouldn't hurt me at all, i know i need to spend some extra times for this class!.

My family? Haven't talked to them for a while, almost two weeks i guess?..i'm gonna call my mom some times this week..but i don't have a calling card..i hate it because i can't even purchase the calling card from that site, they always pending my order...gotta use dendre's credit card..hehe.

What else yaa?..i know next week and the week after that will gonna be even more hectic, next week we have to go to great shape and meet with the manager and i have to discuss about ASAF also with Debbie...i'll be the vice president ..yoohooo..:). i have my case due and marketing research exam next week and also my second sales management quiz.. these three things will always come every week!..well i don't wanna talk about the whole assignments thing, i know it's a lot and i just need to get them done..quickly!

You know what, everytime i think about aaliyah, it gives me this chill somehow, it such a big loss for the world that such a sweet and talented young-beautiful artist died in a very young age, i like her a lot. I always think she is pretty and you know..always have this nice attitude, don't talk a lot, she's sexy but not sleazy at all, her style is so sophisticated..i admired her in some way. I know i'm not a huge fan of her or anything, in fact i just started to like her a while ago..and i've been listening to her song "try again" and "we need a resolution" everyday since then...a couple times a day even!..so i'm a bit sad now knowing that she's gone and i really regret it for not trying to get to know her since long ago! i guess angel doesn't belong to earth, huh?.

I normally don't get this serious if some public figures passed away, like when princess diana died..you know the whole world was crying but i didn't really feel anything. I don't know what makes me take this so seriously..i guess it makes me even more realize that we can't take life for granted, we have to know and realize that someday we have to go and also have to let even our closest person go...! just thinking about this makes my eyes all watery!.

The thing that sadden me is the fact that she died in a tragic incident, plane crash. That is really something that i've been really scared of, it's not that i'm afraid of flying..i know i'm petrified of heights but being in an airplane is okay..in fact sometimes i miss the smell of airplanes and being there. But i always thinking about plane crash and all that...i know it's weird, but some times i imagine my self in an exploding plane and wondering what's gonna happen next, what's gonna happen to nduti?..to my family?..oh ..i guess i'm kinda have negative thinking here, always thinking about the worst and always expecting the worst...!. Not that i expecting it to happen...but you know...ugh, i don't even know how i get all these fear..maybe it's just because i'm away from my family and i am so worry about everything, i'm worried that somehow..something will separate us..and we will not be able to see each other anymore..permanently..maybe one day when i have got together with them again i can cut this stupid fear out of my mind totally!.

Every night before i go to bed, i always pray to god... i pray for everything that comes to mind..mostly i pray for him to keep me and all of the people i love in a good condition, good health, i pray for him to keep all of us away from danger and all the bad things and importantly gives all of us a long life. i always ask for strengh, patience and happiness. I ask GOD to give me and all of my family a chance to be together again in a whole lot better condition. I pray for my mom..for ibnu and hana..!. It's funny you know when i pray for hana and ibnu, sometimes i pray for little things...for instance sometimes i would pray for ibnu to eat more so he can get more meat in his body, hehehe...see..i care for even the slightest things.

I also pray for my self, you know.. to graduate soon with a high GPA, i know i won't be graduating with magna cum laude..but at least i still have some hopes to get a cum laude major GPA..! I pray for me to get a good job, wonderful career, and to experience a long-normal and wonderful life. What i mean by normal is you know just like everybody else, to have beautiful kids and everything...and last but not least i always ask for god to guide me thru my life and show me the way.

Nduti is always been in my prayer also, i pray for him to have an even brighter future and you know..praying that we are really meant for each other and that we can get married sometimes soon, i really want it to happen between today and december next year, i really hope it's gonna happen you know. I have been imagining raising a kid together with him..i really have been imagining down to the very single detail of everything....!. Hope you'll hear my prayer and granted me all that...amin!.

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